In celebration of the Holy Mother
Twenty years ago, during the Belgrade Book Fair, your first novel "Public bird” was published. Since then, new editions are constantly reprinted. What to you mean this book?
Public birds is my beginning. Publication of the book is a great and important event in my life. One of those crucial turning points, after which nothing is the same. Until that October, 1988. I was unfulfilled person, insecure, tempted by illusive longing and dreams, that seamed to all the people around me, and occasionally even to me, as unfeasible. And then it all changed in a blink of an eye.! With a published book, I gained confidence and right to tell publicly and to everyone, with no shame, with no fear of sneer, loudly, that what I felt for a lifetime as greatest truth: I am a writer! Wherever I went, I was carrying a book with me. Occasionally I put my hand in the bag, just to the touch it. To make sure it is there! In my apartment, I embraced it on my chest as a child.
Today, the fact that in Serbia, Montenegro, Republic of Srpska, but also abroad, so-called "pirates" illegally print and sell my books in the tens of thousands of copies, I get with no excitement. But in that October of 1988, when Mr. Vidak Peric - Director of the publishing House "Literary Gazette," said to me that someone had stolen one copy of Public bird from the stand, my happiness and pride was endless.!
Even now, twenty years later, I think the Public bird is good and honest book. The time gave it a new dimension, and nothing took it away of it. During the meetings and conversations with readers, I find it is very popular among young people. They gave it as a present to each other. They gave it to their mothers. But parents gave the book to the daughters too. (All to find out while signing the book.) While visiting the schools, students are always looking to talk about that novel. The Public bird carries a strong message and cry for essential communication. My young readers recognize that.
I must admit: I am thrilled by fact that my first book is so popular even after twenty years. It lasts so long that it is older than its readers.
You mark the appearance of novel “Public bird” as your actual literary start. But before, you've written, even published.
First, I wrote the poems. Poems that I liked and that I loved. Poems which sprung from the depths of my soul. I sent them to a variety of literary magazines - and nobody wanted to publish them. Then I decided to make a little experiment. I made up a dozen pieces of poems similar to those I read in magazines and sent them to various addresses. The result was devastating? All these false creations were published! On the contest, some of them were even included in two collections of young authors. I was desperate! Because – they were not my poems. I was not me in them. They simply were a reflection of a literary fashion and taste of editors. The were carefully worded, but - with no soul. So I quit writing poetry, even reading it. That period coincided with a period when I, as an unsuccessful student of economics, was desperately looking for myself and a way out of wilderness.
The novel is actually my real start. It is a literary form that suits me, and through which I do best express what is in me. But the form that was imposed to myself. You know, I believe that all the books are already written somewhere, and just to a few of us the grace was given to sign their name under what must be told. Also, I believe that writers and artists do not choose the subjects and contents of their works, but that are selected. I believe that there is time for some topics. That time is not determined by the writers, critics, or literary fashion. Similar happened in the science - that different people at various points around the world, not in a mutual contact, come at once to the same discovery, because they were guided by the same inspiration, or, as I believe, guided by the same Providence and the Holy Spirit.
So, it is the same with writers. For example, many of the female writers throughout the world were searching for their predecessors and writing about their experiences. When such a books were published here, I saw that it happened at a same time when I wrote novel The Feminine genealogy.
Now, the story goes again. The dominant subject in the best books of foreign authors is the history of the world, of course, seen in fragments, but from the perspective of women's chamber. Just like in my novels “Petkana”, “Game of the Angels”, “All sad`s joy” and “Observation of the Soul”.
In some literary critics, it is pointed to the language of your prose. How would you explain the language of yours novels?
I think that the language essentially determines every man. In fact, it talks about his background, education, taste, and often about the profession, completes the picture of him as his actions, dress or opinions expressed. The language represents him! Therefore, the language spoken by characters of my novels, and the language that I am talking about them, is very important. And different. The same language can not be spoken by the shepherd and royalty, Princess of the fourteenth century and the young woman from the twentieth, the pagan Goddess and young girl or sailor from Kotor.
They live in different worlds, and thus, their knowledge, associations, the rhythm of life and values differ too. In order to be authentic, all this must be reflected in their languages. Language is to be an important element that helps the story and characters seem true, full of life and convincing.
Anyway, I am a proponent of preserving the language and script. Personally, with equal ease, and not even noticing the alphabet, I read the Cyrillic and Latin alphabet. But all my books, and all the books published by my Publishing House, are printed in Cyrillic. Our language should be protected from various ugly foreign words, and there are plenty of them in our language. Nowadays, you can hear others saying that everything is transparent. They all work on some new projects. Everyone is trying to be trendy, and to make a brand. They follow the main stream and set in the backstage. They go for shopping. They are gathering during the fashion week or PR fest, everyone wants to be in or cool . Our celebrities talk about wellness and spa relaxation.. Their lifestyle is fancy and straight. This, of course, is not a language development, but poor following of trends by new generations and form of accepting the cultural domination by one superpower. Some strange sentence structures are especially dangerous, which are not in the spirit of our language at all, sneaked into our language by the literal translation. For instance, recently I red in a book (translated) a sentence: “Her mother was not close to her kitchen”. Language and writing are important elements of a nation, national treasure, and we have to refer to them with care, and responsibly, in order to save them for posterity. To coexist with the world, to be part of it, which should be intention to every normal person in this country, it is necessary to know foreign languages, know and respect the culture and history of other nations, to travel as much as financially you can afford, but not to make ugly your own language, neglect your own culture and lose integrity. Moreover, even St. Simeon Mirotocivi (one pouring with holy myrrh) cautioned us that those who replaces its own experience and knowledge with experience of other or foreign people, they can not gain it but lose its own identity. Writers can preserve the language by the books and public appearances.
However, they alone, can not preserve it. To preserve the alphabet and the language, effort and agreement of the whole society is required. All public figures and those who decide in the media. Unfortunately, in this country, such an agreement is impossible to achieve, for various reasons. Therefore, all remain to the enthusiasm and limited power of individuals.
In the past twenty years you have published nine novels. With all their differences, what they have in common?
All my books have in common the basic theme. I always write about women's fate. The main characters in my novels are women. I do Explore women's fate through the stories about different women. Find what is common to saint, ruler, and ordinary mortals women. Show and prove that women can do anything. They can to carry the burden of everyday life, to save the empire, to advance and become closer to God so much, that eventually they become saint. I write about the women for several reasons. First, I think that women, in order to achieve all what they care about, in order to preserve all they like, to answer all the demands of those they love, they have to invest much more effort than men. They have to struggle, bravely and persistently. That fight was exciting, and therefore a good subject for literature. Then, I grew up in a female universe, with my mother and grandmother and their female friends. Their stories are part of my memory, and what I am now. As a woman, I share many female desires, joys, efforts, and achievements. Therefore, I understand them well. And, finally, my mother passed away young (she was only thirty-five years), poor and abandoned. Therefore, every my support to women, like in all my books, is an homage to my mother. However, with the exception of the novel Public birds and Feminine genealogy, my themes are faith and God. Abuse of religion and the human need to believe. It is very important relationship of man and God. Do we turn to God more when we are happy or unhappy ? What is more temptation for the soul - welfare or loss and decline? And how can we be sure that we do hear clearly and understand well the signs of God, or that what we do is in line to Almighty and His will? How to deal with temptation, how to recognize and avoid the hidden pitfalls of Cunning? How to face our own sin, and repent sincerely and from the heart? These are the questions I ask myself as to a believer and as to a writer. I try to give answers in my novels. Spirituality in my books is in line with my faith and, from all of my books, somehow is a reflection of my personal spiritual path.
Who influenced the most to the formation of your spirituality?
The Books. One that I read. But also those who I write. The process of writing itself takes place in the inspiration with the Holy Spirit. The Spirit leaves its mark in the books, and that mark is a blessing for the reader. In addition, the creation is process of using the gift of the Holy Spirit and its reproduction. So, being the reader and writer at the same time, I am twice blessed. But, the importance of prayer should be emphasized. Real, committed and sincere prayer is a conversation of the soul with God.
Very often, the literary critics and journalists claim that you are a creator and member of so called female literature, here. Many times for the past twenty years, you always clearly stated your position. However, some of them even today do not give up. Why?
I have always believed that the introduction of the concept and category of so called "women's script" or female literature is one of the worst setups or imputations committed to women. It is suggested that a writing and literature, as a kind of an art, belongs to men. Consequently, all what women writer create is classified as a sub art. As a "women's script". I'll tell you one sad anecdote that evidence where it goes if sharing the literature on gender. It was during the Belgrade Book Fair. One female journalist, a smart and well-intentioned woman, met me saying ecstatically: "Look how I started the report from the Fair. That Publishing House also publishes books of women writers". She was talking filled with pride, convinced that she is doing much for a female writers. Than I asked her: "Would it cross to your mind to begin the sentence by saying that the Publisher also publishes books of male writers?" No, it wouldn't, she replied, smiling no more. "Now I realize what I did," she said ashamed. "It is not about what did I do, but what they are trying to do us", I corrected her. For years, I was saying that the division to "male" and "female" literature is as equally meaningless as a division to male and female painting, journalism, medicine, or music. This is discrimination, and certainly I do not understand why some of female writers agreed to. For years, I do repeat that the terms “women;s script” and “female writer” both grammatically and logically absurd. When we say “women's coat” ; or “women1s shoes” we know that this is a coat for women, or that they are shoes for women. And men can't wear them. By analogy, “women's script” is supposed to be what is written for women only, a “female writer” is supposed to be a writer who writes for women only. So, the men should not be able to read such a books. But, men read them. Here, most common conceive is that "women's script" is what female writers do. Therefore, the work is classified by the gender of the author. For years, I do repeat the only acceptable division is that of the good and bad books, the interesting and boring books, the books that offer spiritual benefit and those books which encourage the worst in people. And all of these books are written by male and female writers with equal success. For years, I do repeat that literature, like any other arts, is created by the grace of God and inspired by the Holy Spirit. It is created from the soul and spirit and not from the body and gender of the author. With my entire opus I am closer to St. Nicholas the Bishop, than any of the contemporary Serbian female writers, I believe. Once again, I repeat but they do not hear.! They don't hear because they do not want to hear! And why not? The one who has carefully read everything written about my books, and the one who shall read this interview to the end, that one will realize.
Often it can be heard that literary critics are not friendly to you and suppressed you even in the moments when it became clear that you have become the relevant factor in contemporary Serbian literature. However, the impressive number of critical articles collected in this book says otherwise. What is your opinion on literary criticism and what is your experience?
One can not talk about literary criticism in general. As there are many writers, individuals in the same profession, we have a number of critics, individuals who do the same job. Therefore, these various individuals are differently related to my work. Some of them gave merit rates to my books, some of them even rewarded my books. I am thankful to all those who have tried to read my books and to speak or write about it. I am especially grateful to those who understand me. I am delighted by this understanding. And the fact that there are prominent poets and theologians among them, I consider it as a special recognition. When talking about the number of published critics of my books, I must point out that this number does not depend only on those who write something on the books, but also on editors in literary magazines and newspapers decisions - to accept or reject articles. During the past several years, I found out that some editors didn't want to publish the text, unhappy with critic points about "mastery of the writer," or "fresh and pure imagination and rhetorical elegance that captivates and overwhelms" or due to argue that in the novel "the reader meets the sadness, the beauty and invaluable moral values." I know the editors who were not happy to publish a positive review, but ordered and published a negative comments in a next edition. Of course, there are a lot of those who do not like me, neither my books nor the number of my readers. This is normal, and not sorrow to me. Even in the Holy Bible it is said: "Woe to the man whom all love". At any time, I am aware that any critics, positive or negative, is just one man's opinion, relative and individual one as any other opinion, but not God's providence. By the way, the literary criticism does not exist as an independent vocation here, in term of a life and professional commitment. Writing of literary criticism, as an intermediate interest, is dealt by affirmed writers, writers in the attempt, publishers, journalists, politicians, librarians, bank officers, university and high school teachers, lawyers, psychiatrists, state officials .. . The literary critic is a man like any other: has a sensibility, taste, ideological orientation, value system, personal ambition, hope and commitment. Sometimes, in literary matters he is driven by non literary criteria. Often related to a publisher by the interest, or restrained bu the party or clan affiliation. Sometimes he is not burden with moral, and easily engage in the evaluation of the book he did not read at all (This goes to one lady, professor of literature and PhD at the University, which wrote in her critics that novel “Petkana” is shoddy romantic novel). It happens to a literary critics to be limited by the (lack of) knowledge. Or by fossilized knowledge. This knowledge, or ignorance, it is very important when the critics assess the value of my books from the spiritual cycle. In order to interpret my books, knowledge of a much larger scale is needed, and more comprehensive, than what the average educated critics of literary works have. ( the careful reader of this book will notice what kind of ignorance some of them have shown, especially when comparing articles and comments about some novels written by some competent and incompetent critics). Jet, books like these no one before me did not write. So, some literary critics do not know where to put me. Simply, I do not fit in their schemes and field of their limited, often outdated, experience. First of all, it refers to all those who consider and assess my work in accordance to solely given postulates of governing literary direction. All that is different, they do not want to accept. Or they can't understand it properly (Husband of unique Mrs. Rebac Anica Savic has said to her about such a persons: “They do not like you because they do not understand you”!. But the literary trends are changing. The theory recognizes that often long after the change has already occurred. Life, as well as artistic inspiration, goes ahead of theory. Writers and readers are developing independently of the dictates of the literary establishment, unrestrained by theory. Therefore, those value judgments that are based on current poetic paradigm are unsustainable. The history of literature teaches us that the literary trends change, the prevailing poetics, no matter how desirable at certain period of time, has been replaced in the next one, being equally short lasting and variable. Therefore, those who are not ready for wider and more comprehensive understanding of someones work, they restrain themselves. They write critics for the moment only. And they exist in a moment. But writers, unrestrained by theory, and inspired by the Holy Spirit, they create and write for eternity. So, I just read the words of St. Nicholas, the Bishop, saying: "Literary critics live and die, Poets live forever!"
You are donated a gift that all writers dreams about - to have a readers. Long queues of those who patiently wait for an hour and a half to get your signature during the Book fairs, overcrowded halls during the promotions in the country and abroad, letters arriving daily to your postal and email address, of which a small part is described in this book, clearly evidence the commitment and love that readers express towards you and your books! What the readers mean to you?
God gave me what I always wanted and dreamed of, while I was thinking about myself as a writer. He gave me a books that readers love. He gave my a readers! I am infinitely grateful to my readers. They have created me. They were with me even when everything else were against me. They determine my place in our literary scene. Thanks to them, I exist as a writer. They give me the right to believe that all what I do is needed to somebody else, except to me. I would never, ever, exchange the favor of my readers neither for all the beautiful words of literary criticism, nor for all literary prizes in Serbia, because, I am absolutely convinced, the writers and books exist just because of the readers. The readers gave a sense of existence both to books and writers. For me, the voice of my readers is the voice of the Lord's . As the old Latins used to said: “Vox populi, vox Dei”! In other words, what people (readers) want, it's sacred. I am particularly happy that with each new book, I retain the old and acquire new readers. This is evident from all these letters. As the years go by, the number of my readers increase. That is why we in the Publishing House "Globosino ALEKSANDRIJA" constantly publish new editions of all my novels. I love hat readers perceive me as someone close to them. They turn to me while being with the hairdresser, in the church, on the beach, in the market, at the counter in the travel agency, on the Chinese flea market.. They feel free to stop me in order to sign their samples of the book, that they have just bought, or to sign a short note which will seal in the book. I do often crouch, in the middle of the street, put a bag on my knees, and a book or paper on tom of the bag, and try to come up with a nice message, feeling happiness inside, because of the freedom they show by treating me as their. And because we were closer due to my books. And because they understand that the best part of me is in my books. I love when my readers write to me. They congratulate me the holidays and birthday. They explain to me, not only why they love my books, but what make them pleased and sad. That kind of attitude is more important to me than data showing circulation of almost millions of my books. Readers often bestow their gifts to me and just kind of the presents show how close I am to them. They sent me their beautiful handmade crafts, peacock feathers, icons, figures of angels, sweets, jam and “ajvar” which they made by themselves, "to be used during the fasting time", flowers, ripe apple or fragrant quince wrapped in cellophane and decorated with pink tie ... During the 2005 Belgrade Book Fair, the monk Serafim from Chilandar Monastery paid me a visit and gave me a pink rosary. He took the books “Petkana”, “Games of the Angels” and “All the sad`s joy” to brought them to the Holy Mountain of Athos. Knowing that my books will be available at that holy place was “the gift of gifts” to me.
You have reached the unusual closeness in communication with your readers. What they usually ask you? What you are talking about?
They are telling me about their experience of my books. About their spiritual path. They ask me about the trials of my spiritual path, and how to fight against them. They give me support when someone attacks me in the media. They notice and condemn if someone make injustice to me. They seek for an advice. Show me the pictures of their children. They want to be photographed with me. Sometimes they make me afraid. When a mother tels me about the premature death of her son. When a woman suffers the illness with no cure. When the girl hesitate, whether to marry a boy asking to marry him - or to leave. Or a man, on a spiritual turning point, which requires his own way. They all expect an advice, consolation, encouragement. And often, I am not sure whether I chose the right word. Is the answer that I gave a true or truly the best for the person who asked.
You are one of the few writers who accept to go and hold a literary evening in the smallest places. You do travel often, irrespective of adverse weather conditions, long and hard trip, fatigue or personal plans!
You are right. With equal pleasure I accept all invitations to literary evenings. I go wherever my readers are. All those encounters are a special experience to me. This unity of the readers and writer, understood only by the few among the writers who are lucky enough to have a loved and popular books . It is a spell. It is a Blessing! On each literature evening, wherever it may be, I do try to give the best of me. Very rarely, only if the hosts are asking for, I take a literary critics with me. My experience is that readers like and want to hear a writer. Readers are those who give the content and tone of literary evenings, because I usually give the answers to their questions. With a small exception: at the very beginning I tell them they can ask me about everything but I do not agree to answer the questions and talk about politics or to make comments on the work or behavior of other public figures, especially other writers. So, these talks usually last for two, sometimes three hours. Then I sign the books. When all is finished, I am completely exhausted. Sometimes, I am so tired that I can't sleep until dawn. But my heart is full. I can hardly wait for the new literary evening and new meeting with my readers.
You emphasize all the time how much your readers mean to you. Do you think of them while you write the novels? Do you have a target group that you want to address with your work?
No. While I write, I think only about the characters of the book, concentrated to the dramatization of the story, fully committed to the task and need to convey in a best manner all what is, by the grace of God, inside of me. I pray not to betray the trust of mighty God , who gave me a talent, health, family and working conditions, but to make my creations and books as close as possible to what the generous Lord expects from me. In that way I justify the grace which was given to me. Anyway, even if I wanted to think of readers in order to write a book to satisfy their tastes, I would not be able. For the very simple reason. My readers are different among themselves. Among them, there are men and women of various ages, from students to those who have long since retired, from various vocations and educational levels, different religions and nations. In addition, all readers do not like the same book. Everyone has their favorite. And ranking the others. Lists of ranking are as different as my readers are. For example, our stand at the 2007 Belgrade Book Fair was visited by four bishops, dozens of priests and nuns who wanted to by my novel Observation of the Soul. In order to get my autograph, in a long queue one famous actress and wife of a very serious presidential candidate, one head of highly intellectual talk-show program, a jazz and a pop singer, father of one party leader, and a wife of the Hague prisoner were waiting patiently. Then, some writers who have brought me their books as a gifts (including one American, who offered me support in the U.S. if I promote him in Serbia), one young graduate from Leskovac, who cried with joy when I kissed, dozen of students from PTT School in Belgrade, one sub specialist for cardiovascular disease, the municipal court judge, a nurse who cares for the blind, students and professors from Kosovo and Metohija. Also, there were one owner of florists and one lady who was crying because the entire edition of the novel Observation of the Soul was sold out and she must return to Sweden, one gentleman who came by the order of his daughter and son in law , who happened to be a successful scientists in Ireland, one professor at the Faculty of Philosophy, a famous football player, students of theology, grandmother with her granddaughter from Banja Koviljaca, who come to see me every year - since 1996. And several thousand other visitors who did not introduce themselves. For seven days of the Fair, we managed to sold 12,500 copies of my books thereof at least half of that number to those under the age of thirty. Just a few days after the Fair, during the promotion of the same novel in Pljevlja, the Prior to the monastery of the Holy Trinity Church and other Orthodox Christian priests were attended, as well as the leader of the Muslim religious community, Mr. Samir-Effendi, to my great joy. I think about my readers when the selling of books begin. I have a fear from the judgment of those who rushed to buy and read the book. I wonder if I managed to justify their confidence. I know that among my readers there are a lot of those who can hardly afford money to buy the book. There are those who have just chosen that book to be a gift for them, from their loved ones for a birthday or from the fellow students for passing of graduation exams. I remember once, three grandmother have spared 100 dinars each, to purchase jointly the novel “Feminine genealogy”.I remember also a four-member family: father, mother and two girls. They came to the 2005 Book Fair, a modestly dressed but in a festive mood. All this was pretty obvious. “ It is my birthday today, and we came here to celebrate it. Your new book will be their gift to me !” said a woman. “Can I have a picture of you ?” asked the father. I congratulated her birthday, hugged and kissed her. We have photographed. The joy on her face, children smiles and the pride of her husband, I experienced a great joy. But, I was afraid at the same time, if that women would find in the book what she was hoping to. I remember the woman that I met in 2006. She told me that she arrived to the Fair by hitchhiking from Vrsac, because she did not have money to buy a bus ticket. She strongly wished to get the novel “ All the sad`s joy” with few words of dedication on the book. So, I donated her a book. A year later, she came back to our booth label with a gift for me. She donated to me just published collection of her poems.
All those countless encounters and gained experience bound me. Only after first readers of new books come up with their opinions , when I get their praise, I can relax, happy that I didn't let them down. I want to add something more: All respect all of my readers equally. I am equally grateful to all of them. I'm not a writer of intellectual elite. I am a writer of spiritual and emotional elite.
In your books you are revealing, fairly and clearly, some of great truths. You write about the pain and suffering, fear and calvary, betrayed hopes, but also about the temptations and fight against demonic imputations. Especially in your spiritual cycle of novels, you are dealing with a serious and difficult issues, to which even the theologians are questioning. Are your readers sometimes afraid of those truths?
No. Readers are not afraid of either me, or what they read in my books. What I write they understand fully, and properly. Many of them recognize those truths as their own experience. Sometimes it seems to me that only “the owners of politically correct way of thinking” are to be afraid of my books. I was writing against ethnic hatred and war, even at the beginning of the nineties. Then, when some of them have been concerned about grate national subjects, and others put their books put in the service of opposition action, I wrote a book of personal emotions, saga of my Montenegrin women's genealogy. At the time of dramatic xenophobia during 998 and 1999 I wrote a novel “The Peacock feather”, a novel with the motto: "One day no borders and walls will be here, and heart will be the only passport." At the beginning of new millennium, when many of them rushed in Europe to complain or justify themselves, with novel “Petkana” I returned to Byzantine, with novel “Games of the Angels” I returned to medieval Serbia. When in 2005, with thundering promotion, bookstores in the world and here, were overladen with anti-Christian writings, I published the novel “All the sad`s joy”, story of the earthly life of the Holy Virgin. Even a novel “Observation of the Souls” is “a politically incorrect book”. In Serbia today, you know exactly with whom you should be "a friend in literature" as famous writer Danilo Kish, used to say. You know what should be written about. Today, a favorite themes of all deliberate or unintended profiteers in our art are multi-ethnicity, the magic of the new world order, suffering and pride of young and slightly older homosexuals, anti-Christianity, the overall degradation during of Milosevic era, searching for the identity – out of religion and nation, the acceptance of collective guilt for the individual crimes. But I did not intentionally write a politically incorrect books.
I was not trying to be different , courageous and rebellious in the circumstances . To be alone against all. I just followed what was happening in me. I went through, guided by my Guardian Angel, and on that way I grew up spiritually. The way I changed, my books changed too. That was nothing to do with developments in our society, outside of me. Even the book which now I work on, it will not suit to “the owners of right thinking and desirable issues”. To the owners of “literary awards and media space”. But I do not care about it. Because I know, what the characters of my novels knew all the time, which I admire a lot, and that is the "in vain is to gain the whole world, if you hurt your soul."
You say that your books have changed the way you've changed. But certainly the books you've written changed you. What is your kind of transformation and change?
While I was writing novels of the spiritual cycles, “Petkana”, “Game of the Angels”, “ All the sad`s joy” and “Observation of the Soul”, I' was changing constantly. I felt as I changed. First of all, I became better, more patient. I learned to understand people better and like other people more.
I read different books. I listen to the spiritual and classical music. I am not interested in anything easy or empty. I am surrounded by icons, and wherever I look, I see images of the saints and the Holy Virgin. I pray. In prayer, I find comfort, inspiration and humility. I do endeavor to live with God constantly.
I go gladly to church. I enjoy the liturgy. Often go to visiting and touring monasteries with my family. We were two times in the Holy Land. I carried out a cross through “Via Dolorosa”. I made a bow to the Sepulcher of the Lord and was crying at the grave of the Holy Virgin.
I feel that I really neither can nor want to live without God.
You do not belong to any literary clan, do not yield any option brought together by political or generational affiliation, ideology or pure economic interest. How difficult is it for a writer, especially for women, to act alone? What is the price of non-belonging?
I would split our literary world and literary life into real and virtual one. Real literary life makes community of writers and readers. Writers are supposed to write for the readers. But readers give a sense of existence to a writers, literary critics, to a libraries and publishers, to a book sellers and media. Virtual literary life is formed by clans, sometimes formed of all enumerated participants, but with no readers. Like in other areas, in the literature too, the clans are formed on different interests. Generation, friendly, existential, political, financial. Therefore, actions of the clans are not based on the value of criteria. So, their actions could be more dangerous if the public would believe them more. I admit, it is difficult without the support of clan. For example, I know in advance that there are literary prizes that I will never get, even if I would surpass in writing Andric, Krleza, Crnjanski and Selimovic all together, for instance. I know that some media will keep silent about all I do, as they are silent about entire circulations of my books or about translation of my books abroad, while in the meantime, much smaller circulations and only notice of possible translations of other writers books will be announced as a huge success. There are a bookshop where they sell no my books, in order to create a false best selling lists and false image that some other books are better sold and more demanded than they really are. One director of a library in which my books are also the best selling ones, being a writer himself, has publicly said to me that he will not allow me to promote my book in “his library” even if I get a Nobel prize (yes, he just said:" ... in my library "). One clan has decided to revoke the award of the National Library of Serbia for best selling and most read book in the libraries of Serbia, because the members of the clan did not like me to get it, the fifth time in a row.
I am the most often translated author and writer in this generation. However, the Ministry of Culture of Serbia neither offers my books to foreign publishers, nor finances their publication abroad, as it makes with the books of other authors. Therefore, my books are chosen by foreign publishers and translators, in line to their literary taste, and with consent of my my agent. There's no my name in the catalogs that our Ministry of Culture promotes writers from Serbia during international book fairs, promising to pay for translation of their books. I do not travel to the Fairs as a member of the state delegation. I travel abroad based on the invitations of my foreign publishers or ministries of culture of host countries. Then I visit the stand of Serbia and see that my books were not exposed. I run away than, embarrassed, in order not to explain our shame to the hosts.
It is difficult without the support of clan, but it is nice. I know, all I have and all I am, I owe to the Holy Mother of God, St. Petka, my readers and my family. I am grateful to them, and this appreciation makes me calm. The clans are like Mafia. Sooner or later it calls for payback. Frequently, by doing some nasty and dishonorable act. (It was obvious with a scandal at the National Library of Serbia)
It is difficult without the support of clans, it is even harder because clans do not work only for its own interest, but also against the interest of other clan. It is difficult, but it it is nice. I am free. That feeling of independence is magnificent. To get literary awards, state sponsorship, position in the board of cultural institutions, directorship or editor-in-chief position in the media, really can not be a reason for me to deny all the best in me. Anyway, who belongs to the clans, it is easy to be noticed by careful monitoring of the media.
Of course, the clans try to wrap up their activities into highly intellectual tirades about their deep concerns for the future of our art, perfidiously declaring that is trivial all what is not in line to their tastes, or what is not created from their clan. But beneath the colorful shroud of their lies, the rags of their dirty truth peep, and that rags reveal them.
Fortunately, among people who are directly or indirectly related to the book, most of them know, as it was nicely said by Momo Kapor, that "regimes change, and bestsellers appear, unpredictable, like pretty girls." Thanks to all those honest and professional journalists, literary critics, librarians, book sellers, the public still knows who's who in literature in Serbian, where is their place (and what is their role) in our literary scene.
Beside to those major prizes for each writer, those awarded by readers – by reading your books - you have received the prizes of the jury of literary critics. What they mean to you?
No matter what the writers think about awards, everyone is glad to win the prize. And I'm grateful to everyone who gave support and assigned reward to my books, too. But, I must emphasize: I am not a writer who writes for the prizes of literary juries. I am a writer who writes for the readers. Otherwise, I strongly believe, and experience has taught me that everything in life has its time. So, and prizes. Like everything else, they are given by God. Hence, I did not even angry or unhappy when He decides to fondle someone else of His child, instead of me. Also, I know that even when the injustice is done to the writer, it happens with God's permission. Even that is with some providence! Sometimes it's more mentioned, remembered and respected writer to whom was denied the deserved recognition, but the one who get recognition with no merit. Finally, it is a little sad and a bit ridiculous the fact that in Serbia, during the one year, three to four hundred literary awards are granted. Jet, that number is constantly growing. With the increasing number of prizes, decreases the importance of each of them individually. Thus, there are so noticeably difference between the lists of award-winning books from the list of most popular and best selling books. If it was vice versa, if the readers believed more to the literary jury selection, the most widely read writer in Serbia would not be me, but the authors of some other books.
Talking to you about awards, but not mentioning the award of the National Library of Serbia for most often read book in the libraries of Serbia, is unsaid and incomplete conversation. You got the award four times. The tradition of that award was interrupted two and a half years ago, when it should be, according to the votes of readers, assigned to you for the fifth time. How did you experience that “cultural scandal” - so called by many of the media?
By the cancellation of award for the most often read book in the libraries of Serbia, once again, the bureaucrats and censors tried to challenge the literary reality. As it turned out that they are powerless to adapt it to their own aesthetic, but also other criteria, they simply decided to - forge it. Because they could not impose their favorites to the readers, people from some of the centers of power decided to - cancel it. To cancel the award which clearly testifies the selection of the readers. This was our most important literary prizes, just because the winner was elected by borrowing the books by tens of thousands of readers, not by a jury of three or five people, who can reach any consensus. Cancellation of this award means that the right of readers to have their own choice is denied, and meaning of existence is taken away from libraries and librarians. Because, the books and writers, the libraries and librarians, they only exist because of readers. With a "Redefinition", as this forgery is called, awards for the most often read book was turn to the award for "best book", which the jury selects from a a list of twenty-five most popular and best selling books. Award of the National Library of Serbia has lost its exclusivity and importance, and was equal to all other awards, granted by various juries. To members of the Board of the National Library, it was given the right and ability to reward politically correct writers and writings, and their "friends in the literature”. They got the opportunity to give a credits and call for pay back. It is shameful, and for me it was particularly ugly and nasty that some writers, fortunately very few of them, took part in making of such a decision. Even those who themselves, in fact long time ago, were audience favorites and winners of this award. It is equally shameful that, in 2006, 2007. and 2008., the writers awarded by the jury agreed to receive the recognition that readers are assigned to someone else. Yet, by chosen words, and shivering voice, to thanks to the same readers in which humiliation they were involved. Prize for the most frequently read book in libraries of Serbia was for the very first time assigned in 1973. to the Milos Crnjanski`s “Novel about London”. Until 1989. the prize was canceled for three times. Such an acts has always been explained with a concern ever our culture, with an aim to support the important work of high and creative quality and by mentioning of the National Library of Serbia - as an institution responsible for the upbringing and education of the people. Just like today. But those who exposed such an explanations no one believed. We all know that behind these carefully formulated phrases it is hidden a pursuit of a group of ideological one minded and group of censors, authorized by them, to wash the people brain. Or at least, by making silence about most popular books and their authors, to show how they have succeeded in that aim. The prize was not awarded in 1974, 1982. and in the period since 1985. until 1988. year. Precisely, in those years, the most popular books were the novels by Dobrica Cosic, Vuk Draskovic, Antonije Isakovic, Danko Popovic and Momo Kapor. Ideological commissions marked those books as hostile one, and their authors as unsuitable. Then, without interruption, the prize was assigned sixteen times in a row.
The current director of the National Library of Serbia, Mr. Sreten Ugricic, until 2006.have presented the award four times: to Goran Petrovic for his novel “ Trifle`s shop by the lucky hand”, to Zoran Ciric for his novel “ Hobo” and to me, for the novel “Game of the Angels” ,two years in a row. And then he decided to revoke the award. Just when the most read book was my novel “ All the sad`s joy”. Why? Novel “ All the sad`s joy” received remarkable reviews in prominent literary journals, and it was rewarded with two awards, assigned by competent jury. So, the literary value of this book was not disputed. What was than controversial? What are the motives that prompted the library administration, including, again, some writers, for this act against the will of the reader? These motives are, of course, out of literature and probably the same as before. Ideological. Explaining what many people, and among them was the writer, called the cultural scandal, Mr. Ugricic, as a manager, said in 2006. that "writing in Serbia is more an act of recognition and support of prejudices, common misconceptions and general spots”. What is a "prejudice, misconceptions and commonplace" in the novel “All the sad`s joy”? What is a "useful invention of deception”? Perhaps the Christian tradition? Faith? Hope? Love? Passion for the Christ? The pain of the Holy Virgin? That manager did not tell us. Two and a half years have passed since that shame, and I still wonder if these people know what they did? Are they aware that they didn't took away the prize to Ljiljana Habjanovic Djurovic but - the to novel about the Holy Mother of God? And – are they afraid of God? It is not me, that matters in the whole story. It does not matter either Mr. Sreten Ugricic, which happened by accident of his office, to be able and in a position to decide about something that exceed by far his actual importance. The readers are important. He insult which is caused to them. The right which is taken away from them. Important are the librarians too. Those who put together the book readers and writers. Those who make "waiting lists" for the most popular books. Those who witnessed the joyous meeting between readers and writers in the packed halls of their libraries. Those being proud when organizing such a meetings. Among librarians there are many honest people. Some of them have all their working life spent among books. They know that everything changes: the regimes, and the ministers and governors of the National Library of Serbia, and the directors of the local libraries. The readers remain. Remain the writers . And librarians remain too. Before any closing of the List of most popular books in the National Library of Serbia, librarians from the provinces write to me, keeping me informed on the position of my books on their lists. Often they add: "Despite the 'recommendations' we have sent a fair list". When we selected the material for this book, you, my dear Mila, have seen all these letters. But I do not want to publish them, in order not to harm these good and honest people.
At the suggestion of His Holiness Patriarch Pavle, the Holy Synod of the Serbian Orthodox Church decorated you with its highest award - the Order of St. Sava, for the “active love of the Holy Mother Church, specifically justified in her literary works that persistently evidence Christ the Saviour". What this award mean to you ?
I am very happy and proud. I am thankful to God who gave me a talent and health to be able to write, who gave me a working conditions and readers who like my books, because my work and readers led me to this award. Order of St. Sava means for me much more than any other award I've received, I shall receive in the future, or that, generally, can be awarded. First of all because I am a believer. Also, this prize bears the name of Saint Sava, and we all know the importance of St. Sava for the Serbian state, the Church, the people and the Orthodox faith. Also, behind this recognition is the institution of greatest reputation, which has been existing for centuries.
Many times I said that I am, by what I do, much closer to the Holy Bishop Nicholas than to anyone of contemporary Serbian writers. So, I got a recognition from those who are the most entitled to to evaluate my work, from those who can understand me and whose recognition I care the most about.
Knowing that I was awarded the Order upon the proposal of His Holiness Patriarch Pavle, the living saint, around whom we shall be gathered as we gather around Bishop Nicholas and St. Sava today, and that the Charter was signed just by his hand, makes me very happy, touched and grateful. I've always felt that I received a great honor and grace by the fact that I was allowed to write books that belong to my spiritual cycle. And now, for the mercy I am even rewarded. Most Holy Mother is really good to me. I hope and pray to her, that she will help me not to disappoint that grace ever.
One year after you received the Order of St. Sava, you received another significant social recognition – on April 10th 2008. a Golden Link award was assigned to you. How did you receive this award?
"Golden Link" is a recognition of Cultural and Educational community of Belgrade "for a lasting contribution to the culture” and it is given to artists in different fields of work. This recognition is very precious to me, and names of earlier, but also the names of this year's winners, testify the credibility and reputation of that award. I am honored also by the composition of the jury that year, which was deciding about winners. I was very glad that jury selected me unanimously.
Anyway, during the ceremony itself, when the awards were assigned to us, the most common comment of all gathered artist was that this is rarely social recognition which winners are not chosen by party affiliation. Winners are selected but by their assessed work and the mark that work left behind. People are fed up of divisions between "us" and "them".
You said that all the gratitude you owe to the Holy Mother of God and the St. Petka, readers and your family. What is the most important in your family life?
The most important is mutual love.
I see a family as a Christian community that adorn with mutual love, true understanding and selfless sacrifice. Those who live in that community, regardless of whether a spouse, child or parent, who both gives and receives, they are stronger and more resistant to every evil. For me, the highest degree of love is - understanding. Not generous or superior understanding, but real and essential understanding for all what is the most important to each family member.
Any true love is giving. If everyone in the family gives, everyone will also receive. This understanding, and that love, in everyday life are manifested in various ways. I often say: “Thanks to my boys, husband Milovan and son Alexander, because they love me in a way I need”. Thus, not as convenient to them, but as needed to me. And me, when I pray for the welfare of my family, I always add: “Mother, please, teach me to be a woman what is needed to my husband and the mother what is needed to my son”. This is not a cancellation of the personality. It's a growth of personality from self – love to a love. My husband only reads my manuscript before publication. He reads it as as it comes out, and sometimes he must defend the manuscript and myself from my fears and doubts.
For three years already I discover the pleasure of cooperation with my son. Hadji - Aleksandar makes fine arts solutions to covers of the books that we publish in our publishing House. He directed an adverts for my novel “Observation of the Soul” and he composed the music for it. This was the very first played adverts made for a book. I liked the music so much that I transferred it to my mobile phone. Now, whenever I hear the ringing tones of the "Observation of the Soul” I know that my son is calling. Hadji-Alexandar suggested that, to the celebration of the St. Petka, we should publish a special edition of the novel “Petkana”, which could be the beginning of new form - a novel performed by actors, recorded on Cd's. I have been present when a radio drama was recorded, I attended the performance of the novel and process of “writing down”of the audio book. With great joy, and grateful to Go d, I followed my son's directorial work. It was a really fantastic experience! (By the way, Hadzi-Alexandar was a music composer and music producer for this release of “Petkana”). Of course, in this great work, as in everything else, we were supported by the “pater familias”, by my husband. The three of us sincerely hope that the Saint appreciate our efforts, and the efforts of all the participants in the creation of this work, and that, by Her Grace, a novel “Petkana” shall continue to be the on spiritual benefit to all who read it or – hear it.
You are considered as one of the most influential women in Serbia today. To what extent the Orthodox lifestyle of yours contributed to achieve such a position?
There are several types of impacts. Political, economical, positional. My influence is quite different one. I write a books that change the understanding of the world, or complete it to hundreds of thousands of readers. To some, my books have changed their lives. To many of them, I am a model alone, and my determination, faith and struggle are incentive and guide mark. So, at least they speak and write to me. However, that impact is their choice. I have as much of impact as it is taken by each of my readers by their free will. And it's only a spiritual impact.
Of course, there are public figures who have a completely different lifestyle, behavior, oppinion about the world and they are also influential. They are a standard or model to another and different people. On the other hand, I do not have any influence that could be viewed as an objective power. I'm not in a position to offer or make a favors to people nor to ask them to do a favors to me.
It is certain that my way of life and striving to live in the spirit of Orthodoxy, has a crucial influence to my spiritual power and my institutional weakness. But it happens by my free will. I would also be unhappy if it would be the other way around.
Often in interviews and conversations with readers you point out that “Only Love Can Save Us". What that motto mean to you?
I truly believe in the words of the apostle. I know that love is the greatest virtue. I know that all the accomplishments done by a man, in the fight against temptations, are insufficient, that all the virtues that man gains by spiritual effort and sacrifice are in vain, if a man remains relentless and unforgiving. If there is no love!
Who says to love God, but is enjoying in neighbor's failure, or calmly and with no regretful beat of the hearth look upon their misery, that makes a false testimony about his love. Who says to love God, but other people are obnoxious, boring, and alien to him, that does not love God either. And who does not love God, there is no salvation to him.
I try to live by the words of the apostle of love. And if the life of each of us is an message that we write down every day, I hope that the message of my life is: "Only love can save us. By love, even the Lord is named”.
In the introductory letter to the novel "Observation of the Soul" by Metropolitan Amfilohije, he wrote: "Throughout this book, written with love to a heroine of a cognate spirit and with a literary skill, emerges from the darkness of the centuries a living character of this Serbian ruler ...". However, you have often pointed out that even when writing about the past in fact you write about the present. How much you really are present in this and the other heroine of your novels? Your heroines verify by experiment that "the burden is not important but strength of one who bears the burden," who know that "the fear is a measure of strength and that the pain is a measure of faith!”. To what extent your novels ere autobiographical?
There is me in every heroine and in each book. I believe that every novel, even when you do not follow the events from the author's life, in some way, is his autobiography. Because the books, as well as each other peace of art, is created from the author's intellectual and emotional world. It is a picture is of his mind and soul. So if the author has some torment or pain, they will inevitably be reflected in his work. It is well known that some of the most valuable opuses in the world's cultural heritage was created during the periods of the creators bitter suffering. But this is only one part the truth. Because, to transfer the pain, or any other experience, into inspiration and make its effect creative, not destructive, it requires a talent. A talent, the gift of God, is the only force that makes the difference between the sufferer and artist. And between a diary and literature.
Ever since the introduction of the novel "Feminine genealogy" in 1996, all relevant best-seller list, in Serbian language space, confirm you as a widely most popular and often read writer who creates Serbian language. Such a success was never recorded here before. How would you describe the first two decades of your literary work?
I was seven when I was asked: "What will you be when you grow up?" I replied: "I'll be a writer". And I even surprised myself. (Today, I know that I have only repeated a whisper of my Guardian Angel.)
Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I believed that a day will come when I will, as I used to say, conquer the world by the depth of my thought and by beauty of my words. For decade's I repeated the words of Dirase "I will writer or I will die”, confident that these words really reflect my deepest and most complete truth. When I finally became a writer, I was convinced that I have chosen my occupation and my life, and that the Lord was just a benevolent and generous giver.
Now, of course, I know that He gave me the talent and love for writing, and the terrible and irresistible desire to become a writer, but also barriers, heavy and numerous, that I had to master, in order to achieve all of that, what I was born for. Through the effort and anguish, I proved that, being grateful, I can willingly accept that God's gift.
I gained a mercy from Lord, the grace from the Holy Virgin and the saints, but always after much hassle, hard and dedicated work, the different deprivation, sometimes after genuine suffering. I graduated the faculty that I didn't love, I had a job that I didn't love, I was afraid that I would never become a writer, but, yet, I was constantly writing. Since the acceptance of manuscripts to publishing the first book, I've been waiting three years. Then, another two years for the second and third book. Just with the fourth novel, when I was forty three, I made the first serious success.
I was challenged in different ways, by the extent of their malice and jealousy, their ignorance and misunderstanding, often by their immorality. In the beginning, the uncertainty was hardest to me.
I worried if the book I wrote would find a publisher. I had a fear of how my work would be evaluated by an editor, who selects books for publishing. It is a serious trouble: to sit, write, give the best of yourself, but jet, not to be sure whether your novel will ever come to those to whom it is intended - to the readers. Later I was hit by the lies. The plantings. The plots, which sometimes were even inspired by some other writers. But I knew, that the man actually has only one choice in life: choice between good and evil. I always tried to choose good. I always had faith and hope. Even when it seemed that I do not have a lot of reasons. That everything is against me. And nothing, absolutely nothing could shake me. To make me faint heartedly, or powerless. I believe that nothing happens without God's providence. Thus, the obstacles that each of us face our way are by His will, or at least by His permission. Overmastering them with hard work and sacrifice, maybe we show that we deserve His mercy.
Briefly, the secret of my writing, and the whole of my life,is the commitment. In prayer. In faith, love and hope.
Through all my books I'm searching for the meaning of human existence. For the essence. For answers to questions: "Who are we? Where did we come from? Why are we here? Where are we going? ". I searched for the knowledge about the sense. And the time. I searched in various ways. Through literature. Through Philosophy. Through all what is common to all religions. In the novel, “The Peacock feather”, which is a turning point between my narrative and spiritual cycles, a little bit belonging to both of them, it was described the true event: In Thessaloniki, standing in front of the icon of the Virgin Odigitria ( then I did not know that icon is so called, nor that “Odigitria” means “lead the way”), for the first time I have formulated what I have long felt. "Mother, please, show me the way to your Son," I said. And I have already been entered this way, only then I was not aware of that.
I'm often asked if my dedication and loyalty to the Christian faith hampers me in everyday life and limits my creativity. That can only be asked by those who have not felt the beauty of the piety. Daily prayer and fasting in the prescribed days, going on holidays to listen to the liturgy and going to the church, whenever my soul has asked that, reading the books of the holy fathers, trying to follow them , at least even in a smallest sens, all those is not obligations or deprivation, but selected way of life. It gives me joy and comfort, it gives me strength, makes me better, clean my mind and soul. Fills me with love, warms me with hope. Sometimes, in really rare and exceptional moments, I am light up by the feeling of alive presence of of saints, or Guardian Angel. For me, religion is the way and ultimate condition of existence. I repeat: I would not want or know to live without the faith and God.
Commitment to the faith, does not limit me even as a creator. On the contrary, inspires me. I see further and deeper than before. I find out what I once did not even think about. And I write about it.
The depth of creating is not in doubt, but in the fullness of knowledge.
My spiritual life and my work are in full conformity. I live as I write. I write as I live. This is a great blessing. And readers like my books, making a sense to my work and my life.
Two decades of literary dream and its fulfillment are behind you. How do you see the future time?
First of all, I firmly believe in the life of my books, those that are already in front of readers, and those that I am just going to write. I believe that they will live and one day when I go before the face of the Lord. The right to think that is given to me by the fact that, all the books that we now consider as classical, was very popular among the contemporaries. History of literature has not recorded the writers, later discovered and appreciated. Also, my books were not made on the basis of literary fashion or regulations of a literary direction, so that changes, either of the fashion or the inevitable emergence of a new direction, make relative their importance. My books are books of soul and emotion. And human nature remains the same even when the time decor is changed. But my literary dream is not completed. I am still, from day to day, dreaming the dream and implement it. In a forthcoming years I would like to continue to writing down the history of Christianity. To penetrate more deeply into the mystery of the infinite and captivating Truth, and to knit that knowledge and experience into my work. I feel that I still have not written my best book. I am waiting for it, hoping for it and looking forward to it.
Even many years before, my work, and all my life I dedicated to the Holy Virgin. Everything I create to She is devoted.
Every book I write, I receive as a gift of Her goodness and mercy, and, at the same time, I donate every book as a present to Her, who gave me all that I have. I constantly repeat: Glory to the Most Holy Mother, for all!
Let's complete this conversation with these words:
Glory to the Most Holy Mother for all!
Interview by Mila Milosavljevic
September 21st 2008.
"This picture was taken without my knowledge. In the Holy Land, in Jerusalem, in a cave of the Holly Virgin tomb. It is a symbol. The image of prayer and creative part of my life. I am on my knees. My face is not visible. And my hair is covered. But the book can be seen. And the sacred image of the Holy Mother can be seen too. This is that message: It is not me to be important. It is important what I do create. The book. The awareness that all what is given to me does not actually belong to me, is also important. Therefore, I humbly submit it as a gift to Her, who gave me everything. "
Ljiljana Habjanovic Djurovic, Magazine “Bazaar”, January 25th 2008.